Apparition
by njbrennan
Summary: Set during the 1920 wedding of Lady Edith and Sir Anthony: Troubled by his self-doubts and rumblings from certain members of the Crawley family, Anthony decides to jilt Edith at the altar and spare her from a terrible future with him. But before he can, an apparition of a familiar face appears to him, causing him to rethink his actions. All characters belong to Fellowes. COMPLETE!


A/N: Hello there! I've had this story floating around in my brain for a few months now, but I have finally decided to put it to paper. So far, it's slated to be a quick little one-shot, but if there is a good response, I might add on to it. I don't want to give away too much in this description, but for reference, the scene is set at Lady Edith and Sir Anthony's wedding, just as Anthony is about to jilt her.

I hope you enjoy this :)

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Anthony Strallan heard the organ bellow, its long, melodious sounds calling him to rise. He hesitated a moment, feeling a wave of nausea roll over him: this was all so terribly wrong! He should _not_ be doing this. Even still, he slowly stood, the words of the Dowager ringing in his ears.

_He looks as though he is waiting for a beating from the headmaster!_

If only he were waiting for a beating from a headmaster; that, he could handle. He had done it many times in his youth when he had been a touch on the squirrely side. And a beating is what he deserved for what he was about to do: tie a youthful, bright, innocent woman to an aged, crippled, dull man. It was nearly a crime if he had ever come across one before.

But as Anthony stood facing away from the congregation at the foot of the altar, he knew that Edith was processing in with her father and his heart longed to see her. Everything from the white dress she had kept "mum" about to her strawberry hair curled in the jolliest way…he wanted to soak all of it up. Tradition, however, dictated that he face forward and he dutifully complied despite his longing to turn around.

Anthony heard two sets of footsteps approaching and suddenly, Edith was at his side and Anthony couldn't help but smile as Lord Grantham brought her to the altar.

She was the picture of beauty.

Her veil was long and lacy, her smile was shy and adoring, and everything about her made Anthony simultaneously want to press his lips all along hers and yet, run far away from the bondage to which he was about to tie her.

"Good afternoon," she whispered for him alone to hear. There was such hope in her voice, such excitement.

Anthony swallowed a lump in his throat before replying, "Good afternoon, my sweet one."

The aromatic scent of the white tulips and pink roses of Edith's bouquet met his nose, engulfing him in a heavenly haze and for a moment, his heart operated on its own accord. The baronet smiled lovingly at his wife-to-be, his heart and soul rejoicing in what they were about to do, in what they were about to promise each other.

But as the organ ceased its processional march and Anthony turned his gaze to focus on Reverend Travis, the demons took over. The insecurities, the doubt, and the guilt: they all reared their ugly heads in his mind.

_This was wrong, so very wrong indeed. _

He loved Edith more than he ever thought possible, but it was reprehensible to tie her to a codger, for her to be chained to an old man. She deserved so much better than the life he could offer her. He had to set her free.

_I can't do this_.

The words began to form in his mouth. It was as if he could feel them bursting to escape.

As Anthony opened his mouth, ready to expel all of his doubts, he heard something whisper in his ear.

"Anthony," the voice called.

Startled, he looked to Edith, positive that she was the one who whispered in his ear. But when he looked at her, she appeared to be frozen and unmoving.

"Edith?" he said under his breath. There was no answer. Turning around to the congregation, Anthony noticed that everyone else was in the same state as Edith, as though they were all frozen in time.

Panic began to set in and Anthony was sure that he was losing his mind, yet another wretched side effect of the Great War. "What's going on here?" he called out to no one.

"I know what you were about to do, my darling."

Anthony whipped around and was stunned at the sight in front of him. "Maud?" he bewilderedly asked. "Is that you?"

Maud nodded her head, smiling at him. "It's good to see you, Anthony."

He was certain that he had lost it completely, for his dead wife was standing there, clear as day, with all of the same exuberance and energy that he remembered. Her brown hair was silky and shiny, her blue eyes were bright and clear, her pink day dress appeared to be neatly pressed. She didn't look like a woman who had been fifteen years dead.

"What are you doing here, Maud?" Anthony asked. "Are y-you a…ghost?"

Maud chuckled. "No, darling, not really. I prefer the phrase, 'friendly spirit.' And I was sent here to stop you from what you were about to do."

Anthony felt his skin flush. "How do you know?"

"We know everything, darling. But it's all right. We know why you were about to leave this young woman today. You don't feel worthy of her, is that right? That's all very noble and self-sacrificing of you, Anthony, but to put it bluntly, it's a terrible mistake."

"It's not a mistake!" Anthony countered. Gesturing to his useless arm, he cried out, "Look at me, Maud! I'm crippled and a far cry from the young man _you_ married. You had the young chap with his life ahead of him and all Edith will get is the empty shell of that young man. She deserves someone so much better, someone who can offer her what I cannot."

In their ten years of marriage, Anthony had never once raised his voice at Maud and he expected her to be repulsed by his sudden outburst. But Maud only grinned at him knowingly.

"Would you care for a walk? It's a lovely, early summer day and I'd like to enjoy it for a moment," she told him as she laced her arm through Anthony's bad one.

"But what about the wedding?"

"We have things to take care of first, darling."

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Maud had led them down the cobblestone pathway of Downton Church towards a little garden overlooking the cemetery. The trees formed a canopy over them, shading them from the late morning sun. It was peaceful there, but Anthony still felt on edge.

The once-married Strallans sat in silence for a few moments as Maud allowed Anthony the time he needed to process everything.

After steeling himself, Anthony proceeded cautiously. "So, you were sent here?" he asked. He had been a religious man, keen on honoring tradition, but Anthony Strallan had never been a spiritual man.

Maud nodded. "I was. Not long ago when it became clear what you were about to say and do."

"Does that mean that you were in…heaven?"

"Something like that. It's a place of peace and calm. Our loved ones are there and they welcome us when we depart from this world," she explained with a patience of which Anthony had always been fond.

"A-are our children there, too?" he asked shakily, tears hanging precariously on the edge of his eyes.

Maud placed a gentle hand on his cheek. "Yes. All six of them. Four girls and two boys."

Anthony let out a small sob. Maud had miscarried so many times, and after years of pain and death, their son, Philip, was born. He only stayed in this world for a few hours before passing on and his mother followed soon after.

"They ask after you and I tell them all about you, sweetheart. I tell them about Locksley and the farms, and about your childhood, about how we met, and how we loved each of them even before they were born."

The sobbing increased, this time, with more force and emotion. "I'm so sorry, Maud. I should have done more for you, kept you safer. I just felt so helpless."

"There was nothing to be done, darling. Don't blame yourself one bit."

Anthony wiped his wet cheeks and the cries relented.

"But, none of us like what you were about to do, Anthony. You would be making the biggest mistake of your life if you leave Edith at that altar. I beg you not to do it," Maud told him firmly.

"Maud, she can never be happy with me, I just know it. Perhaps in the beginning when everything is new and exciting, Edith might feel something that resembles happiness, but as time wears on and I age and deteriorate even further, she will…she'll resent me. She'll realize that she has thrown her life away, but only when it's too late, only when she's tied to me in the most unbreakable way…"

"Oh, my sweetheart, you have it so backwards," Maud cooed as she stroked his cheek. "Edith loves you so much and well, I'm not actually supposed to do this, but I can _assure_ you that she does…I've seen her heart. The love she has for you is strong and it will only grow from this day forward."

Maud paused for a moment, hoping that her words would sink in. Anthony, as brilliant as he was, was terribly stubborn and set in his ways. This might require drastic measures.

"Would it help to tell you that if you leave here today, Edith will never be the same? You will hurt her so severely that she'll be driven to make terrible choices. You see, Anthony, if you jilt her, Edith will feel so very unloved and unwanted, and it will force her into the arms of someone who _really_ isn't worthy of her."

Anthony's eyes snapped into focus. "What?" he wondered aloud. "No, no, she'll find some handsome, young chap who can hold her properly with both arms and give her children. She deserves that, Maud."

"That's what you _think_ she deserves, though you're so terribly off the mark, I don't know what to do with you!" Maud scoffed as she shook her head. She did not remember Anthony being so dense when they were married. "But I can tell you that Edith will not find the man you think she should be with because she should be with you. And you're wrong about not being able to give Edith children. You will, sweetheart. Three of them, all of them looking like a lovely blend of their mother and father…but you didn't hear it from me."

"This is not possible. It can't be happening," Anthony mumbled to himself. He so wanted to believe Maud, but he couldn't help but wonder if he was hallucinating. "How do you know these things?"

"Because I have seen them. The place where we go when we leave this world does not exist in time, so we're able to see all of time as if in an instant," Maud told him. She so hoped that he would believe the truth in her words.

"You're pretty omniscient, aren't you?" Anthony flatly said, his meager attempt at humor. "Can I ask you something, though? Honestly?"

She grabbed his hand and patted it. "Of course, darling."

"How can you be so…um…accepting of this? If I marry her-"

"Which you should," she cut in.

Anthony flashed a crooked smile. "Yes, well if I do, then I'll do things with her that I once did with you. Wouldn't that make you jealous in a way?"

"One would be inclined to think that way, but I have no room for jealousy, Anthony. I loved you so much when I was a part of this world, and I still do, though in different ways. But I saw you withering away after my death and after all of those miscarriages, and especially after little Philip. You seemed like the life had been sucked clean out of you. Because I love you, I wanted you to feel loved once more and because I couldn't do that where I was, I had to guide someone towards you."

"You…you?" he stuttered.

"That's right. I sent Edith to you," Maud proclaimed proudly. It had taken a lot of maneuvering on her part, and because of particular people getting in the way of things, a great deal of time. But she had brought them together twice now and wouldn't let this time go to waste. "She was the perfect compliment to you, despite her youth, and I knew that she would help bring you back to life."

"She did," Anthony whispered, his thoughts drifting back to that night when he proposed.

_You have given me back my life._

"I know she did, and that's why you must go back there and marry her! But in the end, it's your decision. I cannot force you to do something you don't want to do, no matter how foolish and thick you're being."

"Maud, I-I can't," he sighed. "She can't possibly love me, love…this." Anthony waved a hand at his wretched, useless arm.

Having enough of his self-loathing, Maud stood up and faced Anthony. "Get up," she demanded. "Now!"

"Oh, um, yes, of course," Anthony muttered apologetically as he complied with her command. He never remembered Maud being so stern, so adamant about anything. Maud led him back into the church, although this time, she did not lovingly wrap her arm around his, but charged the way towards the foot of the altar. Everyone was as frozen as they had left them, all eerily still.

"What are we doing back here?"

The former Lady Strallan stood beside Edith, who was dressed head-to-toe in silky white. "Look at her, Anthony. Does this look like the face of a woman who does not want to be standing here, ready to bind her life to yours? Does this look like the face of a woman who feels miserable and trapped, who has simply resigned herself to life with you?"

Anthony examined his fiancée carefully. She was radiant, beaming, a smile stretching clear across her face. Her gaze was aimed at the place where he had stood, a sultry expression in her dark eyes that he had never seen before.

"Well?" Maud prodded with raised eyebrows.

"No, it does not. She looks incredibly happy," Anthony conceded. He kept staring at her and the realization that Edith might truly want to be with him grew on him. "But what about Lord Grantham and the Dowager Countess? They disapprove of our union so much."

"Screw them!" Maud exclaimed. Anthony's mouth dropped at her swearing, as he had always known his late wife to be the picture of decorum and ladylike behavior. "_Edith_ will be your wife, not Lord Grantham or the Dowager. Remember that. They will come around eventually, Anthony, but you must have patience and trust in the love that Edith, herself, has for you. That will help you to weather the storm."

"I suppose you have a point."

"Of course I do! I have seen things you haven't, darling," Maud teased. "Now, are you going to take your place next to your bride or will you bolt as you so foolishly planned?"

Anthony knew in his heart and in the depths of his soul what his answer must be. "I choose to stay. I want to marry her," he replied boldly and with conviction.

A pleased grin formed on Maud's face. "Good," was all she said. Then, she slowly walked up to him and placed a lingering kiss on Anthony's cheek. "Make her happy Anthony and you'll make yourself happy."

"I will do my best. And thank you, Maud, for everything," he told her warmly. "I wouldn't have been able to do this without you."

"It's nice having me around, isn't it?" she quipped. "And remember, Anthony…I'll be watching."

Anthony chuckled lightly. Then, in an instant, a bright, warm light filled the church and when it dimmed, Maud had departed for her celestial abode.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Lady Edith Josephine Crawley and Sir Anthony Philip Strallan…" Anthony heard Travis announce, though the Reverend's words faded out as he became aware of his surroundings.

Feeling somewhat dazed by what had just transpired, Anthony turned his head to steal a glance at Edith, almost as if to make sure she was still there. As his gaze settled upon her profile, she turned around and their eyes met, each crinkling into a shy smile.

Throwing caution to the wind, he reached his good hand over to grab Edith's and pulled it up to his lips, placing a soft kiss on it. Edith blushed a dark shade of red as she realized that her whole family had just witnessed this very public display of affection. But she did not pull away and seemed to beam even brighter at his tenderness.

Lowering their hands to rest between their bodies, Anthony felt his heart swell.

_This was so very right, so very right indeed._

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed this! I was sort of inspired by that scene in _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows_ where Dumbledore appears to Harry at Kings Cross. Also, I wanted the wedding scene to go so much differently than it did in canon and I thought it might be neat to hear from the former Lady Strallan, herself.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this if you can spare the time :)

NJB


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